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Democrats continue to work toward a compromise on economic recovery legislation as time continues to run out. Most recently, democrat leaders recommended cutting all funding for suicide prevention programs across the country. The move would save hundreds of millions of dollars, and fortuitously, additional suicides will serve to produce more and more democrat votes. "This is a Win/Win (hic)" claimed Nancy Pelosi as she drank lemon flavored tonic water.
New York representative Alexandra Ocasio Cortez expressed sympathy for the families of suicide victims, but also shared a message of hope. "Every person who kills himself reduces their carbon footprint by 70%. That's a real gift to the planet."
California representative Maxine Waters also found a silver lining in seeming tragedy. "Those dead bodies can STILL be used to get in republicans' faces! Even though they have silenced their voices, they can still produce a really horrible odor."
Senator Adam Schiff, when asked about his response to cutting suicide prevention funding and how that may effect the suicide rate declined to comment, but instead began stroking his desktop in an overtly sexual manner.
Georgia's Marjorie Taylor Greene introduced a bill that would require suicide victims to be removed from voter polls upon registry of their death. Democrats and liberal figures from across the country called for Greene's impeachment for "sponsoring a bill that so obviously disrespects the memory of a fallen loved one by willingly relegating them to oblivion." Jerry Nadler posed the question, "Does a suicide victim no longer have the right to exist? In our tears and thoughts? In our memories, in our mail-in elections?"
As the timeline narrows for legislative negotiation, one thing is clear. Democrats are dying to pass environmental impact legislation.
A.P. 10/6/2021
New York representative Alexandra Ocasio Cortez expressed sympathy for the families of suicide victims, but also shared a message of hope. "Every person who kills himself reduces their carbon footprint by 70%. That's a real gift to the planet."
California representative Maxine Waters also found a silver lining in seeming tragedy. "Those dead bodies can STILL be used to get in republicans' faces! Even though they have silenced their voices, they can still produce a really horrible odor."
Senator Adam Schiff, when asked about his response to cutting suicide prevention funding and how that may effect the suicide rate declined to comment, but instead began stroking his desktop in an overtly sexual manner.
Georgia's Marjorie Taylor Greene introduced a bill that would require suicide victims to be removed from voter polls upon registry of their death. Democrats and liberal figures from across the country called for Greene's impeachment for "sponsoring a bill that so obviously disrespects the memory of a fallen loved one by willingly relegating them to oblivion." Jerry Nadler posed the question, "Does a suicide victim no longer have the right to exist? In our tears and thoughts? In our memories, in our mail-in elections?"
As the timeline narrows for legislative negotiation, one thing is clear. Democrats are dying to pass environmental impact legislation.
A.P. 10/6/2021
