I'll take #2, Trump beholden to Putin & the Russian mob for 800 points.
I think Obama is an alien. No, not that kind, an actual visitor from another planet sent to destroy Earth. And Elizabeth Warren is an actual Indian - a Mohican. She was generated on a clamshell like Aphrodite and is here as a progenitor of genocidal diseases. Mayor Buttplug, meanwhile, is actually Alfred E. Neumann, the result of a horrible lab experiment in genetic engineering gone wrong.
Evidence for my beliefs? Hey, you believe a steaming pile of bullshit with no evidence, and so can I.