Take a dry cow pie and a big sissor and calmly walk into the FO and right infront of Rooney & Tomlin start to cut the cow pie with the sissors, bare handed of course. Once cut reach into the bag of Bagel JMM had given you (bare handed) and offer each... one of them. Hell take one for yourself as well, you deserve it.
Once they are chewing start your speech with........
'Lets cut the crap" gentlemen
I am here today on behalf of STEELERNATION.COM
My main objective is to get this ******* team back into respectable production.
You may not like my methods, but as DIC would say "**** YOU, it's happening"
While you have their attention
Fill them full of some stats such as being ranked dead last in rushing
#30 overall in offense
#18-ish against the pass
Poor play and play selection VS the personal we have
Then fill them in with how you are here to help and offer your services for free
Things like situational play calls / time outs / red flag toss
How special teams should be run and fire under their *****
my way or the highway as I'm in charge and no one is above my athority
Continously check in here for pointers and updated version of best thing to do
Always ask STEELERNATION.COM if you have a question
Remeber Bill Cowher once asked DIC for 1/2 time adjustemnts
slash can advise you on immediate personal decisions
Cope can help you injury statis reports and media coverage
Paul can be your foreign diplomat
Lunar can run this place while you are gone (he will have to step up his ******* personna)
Djfan can run you crowd and fan control including stadium music
Stillwright & TDX27 can help with game stratagies
We have a multiple aray of others should you need something not mentions.
Coolie, don't be afraid as we have your back (as long as we have correct wind direction),
Salute the nation
