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Steeltime is pondering running for local public office. I wanted to share this tidbit from my past, to give yinz some idea of who I am and where I came from. Az in particular might be interested in my story, as he is an Arizona voter. Anyway, here goes.
I was the only Irish guy working at a dental office back in the 1970's. Not anything involving the patients, just cleaning and helping with filing. The office was otherwise filled with Italians - a pretty tough lot back in the day.
So a known troublemaker called Popcorn came to the dental office. The staff huddled together, fearful for the safety, saying, "You know what Popcorn does to teeth. God, you can never get those damn popcorn slivers out of your gums!" Even worse, Popcorn came with two equally notorious buddies - Caramel Corn and Raspberry Seed. Three tough hombres as far as teeth are concerned, I tell you what.
The staff is immobilized with fear, but I knew I had a job to do. So I tell Popcorn, "Hey, Esther Williams, wait for dental help in room 3." I have no idea why I called Popcorn Esther Williams. I really don't. But I could tell that Popcorn and his gang were none too happy with my levity. Popcorn tells me, "Yeah, I'll be waiting in room 3. Waiting for you. And you can expect some dental attention." Remember, Popcorn was not a dentist, so I thought this could be some type of threat, the kind popcorn (and Popcorn) are known for.
Popcorn disappears into waiting room 3 with his two other hombres, and the head dental assistant tells me, "You have to leave. Popcorn is a bad dude, and he runs a bunch of bad dental troublemakers." I tell her, "No, if I walk away, he is going to be back and cause more gum trouble." My buddy, a mechanic in charge of repairing the drills, cut me off a 6 foot piece of dental floss, telling me, "You need to stand up to him, but you gotta protect yourself."
I go into room 3 with the dental floss, and sure enough, Popcorn, Caramel Corn, and Raspberry are waiting for me, all holding rusty dental scrapers. You know, those irritating, sometimes painful metal devices that dental assistants use to clean under the gums. Tough dudes back in my youth would rust dental scrapers by leaving them in that little bowl with swirling water in the dentist's office. We used to call that little porcelain bowl the "rain barrel." Not sure why.
Anyway, I tell Popcorn, "Look, I should not have called you Esther Williams, but you dudes are just bad for teeth. You always get stuck between the teeth and gums and are annoying as hell." Popcorn tells me, "So you apologize for calling me Esther Williams? And who the hell is Esther Williams?" I tell him, "Yes. And she was an actress in the 1930's and 40's," leaving out the whole swimming part. We all know Italians can't swim.
Popcorn, Caramel Corn and Raspberry look at each other, obviously confused about the Esther Williams part, but I casually brandish the 6 feet of dental floss, and they back down. I'm not saying we became friends, but we developed a mutual respect for one another. So remember, when picking a candidate, think about the one who, protected only by dental floss, stood up to three dangerous snacks that get stuck in your teeth, wielding rusty dental scrapers.
I was the only Irish guy working at a dental office back in the 1970's. Not anything involving the patients, just cleaning and helping with filing. The office was otherwise filled with Italians - a pretty tough lot back in the day.
So a known troublemaker called Popcorn came to the dental office. The staff huddled together, fearful for the safety, saying, "You know what Popcorn does to teeth. God, you can never get those damn popcorn slivers out of your gums!" Even worse, Popcorn came with two equally notorious buddies - Caramel Corn and Raspberry Seed. Three tough hombres as far as teeth are concerned, I tell you what.
The staff is immobilized with fear, but I knew I had a job to do. So I tell Popcorn, "Hey, Esther Williams, wait for dental help in room 3." I have no idea why I called Popcorn Esther Williams. I really don't. But I could tell that Popcorn and his gang were none too happy with my levity. Popcorn tells me, "Yeah, I'll be waiting in room 3. Waiting for you. And you can expect some dental attention." Remember, Popcorn was not a dentist, so I thought this could be some type of threat, the kind popcorn (and Popcorn) are known for.
Popcorn disappears into waiting room 3 with his two other hombres, and the head dental assistant tells me, "You have to leave. Popcorn is a bad dude, and he runs a bunch of bad dental troublemakers." I tell her, "No, if I walk away, he is going to be back and cause more gum trouble." My buddy, a mechanic in charge of repairing the drills, cut me off a 6 foot piece of dental floss, telling me, "You need to stand up to him, but you gotta protect yourself."
I go into room 3 with the dental floss, and sure enough, Popcorn, Caramel Corn, and Raspberry are waiting for me, all holding rusty dental scrapers. You know, those irritating, sometimes painful metal devices that dental assistants use to clean under the gums. Tough dudes back in my youth would rust dental scrapers by leaving them in that little bowl with swirling water in the dentist's office. We used to call that little porcelain bowl the "rain barrel." Not sure why.
Anyway, I tell Popcorn, "Look, I should not have called you Esther Williams, but you dudes are just bad for teeth. You always get stuck between the teeth and gums and are annoying as hell." Popcorn tells me, "So you apologize for calling me Esther Williams? And who the hell is Esther Williams?" I tell him, "Yes. And she was an actress in the 1930's and 40's," leaving out the whole swimming part. We all know Italians can't swim.
Popcorn, Caramel Corn and Raspberry look at each other, obviously confused about the Esther Williams part, but I casually brandish the 6 feet of dental floss, and they back down. I'm not saying we became friends, but we developed a mutual respect for one another. So remember, when picking a candidate, think about the one who, protected only by dental floss, stood up to three dangerous snacks that get stuck in your teeth, wielding rusty dental scrapers.
Oh, this **** is ON now.
