This past week, my youngest son had a once in a lifetime opportunity to play in a youth sports National Championship - the AYF (American Youth Football) Nationals in Orlando. The same week, Pop Warner was also holding their Nationals. It was a long, fun, hard, interesting, weird, trying, rewarding week. There were many thousands of people there for these events.
I saw some things first hand that just made me pause, that I thought I'd share.
First, let me preface this with some background. Our team (10, 11, 12 yr olds on our team) and league caters to some VERY underprivileged kids. I mean, kids who's moms just got out of prison, kids who are being shipped off to Canada to be put into foster care because mom/dad don't give a **** about them, kids that are shared among aunts and uncles day after day because no one cares about them. And yes, the team is mostly black, with 4 or 5 white kids, and a couple hispanics. I've been coaching with this group of kids last fall, this spring, and this fall (I was with other leagues prior). The current group has been playing football this year from April to December, with only a 3 week break in June. I know them all well.
Some of the aforementioned kids have spent weekends in my home, sleeping in our beds, playing with my kids. And I'm astonished they are treated how they are, as they are special, loving, great kids that just need a little guiding light. My wife and I have discussed adopting one. Of the kids on our team, some had never been out of Maryland, let alone to Florida, or hell - to Disney. It was a trip of a lifetime for them, even if we were holed up in some bad $60/night motels. For them? It was like we were staying in the Ritz. Anyway...
Each year, one night, the AYF gets Universal or Adventure Island reserved for only AYF coaches, players, and families. It's pretty cool having the park closed to everyone but us. And for the kids - OMG so awesome for them. Thursday was that night. We rode the Hulk, went to Harry Potter World, rode the rides, bought the kids souvenirs, food, and just had a good time. The smiles were contagious. It FELT rewarding, like "I'm doing something that makes a difference here."
Then it's time to leave. Everyone is rolling out at about 11PM to 11:15PM. If you've been to Universal, you know you have to go through Universal Walk then cross the bridge to get the parking garages. As we get to the other side of the bridge to the entrance to the parking garages (remember our whole team of kids, coaches and chaperones is together), things are getting loud...an argument...I look to the right and there's a black guy with his finger in the face of a security person, screaming something or other about what he hadn't done, etc. They are chest to chest. A friend of his is trying to pull him away. Then I start to see the big picture. Two other black kids (16, 17, 18?) are being held back by another security person. "They are about to fight or just did" I'm thinking. The police work to separate the groups and send them on their separate ways. Despite security being there, these punks won't quit. They have to be pushed, shoved and pulled away, fingers pointing, shouting, threatening. As this is winding down (or so we thought), we talk with our team about departure, who's on what van, and the next day plan. We disperse and break up our group to go to the separate vehicles.
My group, a small one, apparently ended up following these two groups that had been previously separated. The parking garage is vastly empty. 60 yards ahead, I see the two in red sprinting across the garage, going after another black guy (maybe the first guy I saw with security? not sure). To my right, security has run up again to another black guy who's saying something about "I ain't got no mace man...I didn't spray mace on those kids!" I'm like "WTF?" In seconds, crowds start swarming towards the two kids wearing red, sprinting across the garage to join in the about-to-occur melee. Security is sprinting in from every angle, now including police on bicycles. Soon, two large groups form, one of about 45 people, another of about 25 - one to my left, one to my right. Like a fire spreads quickly, this escalated so fast it was scary...people were RUSHING to be a part of this drama and potential violence. There's now probably 25 security personnel and police too.
We get into our van (mine a mini-van), and start to back out. I have another team mom and her son following us in a car. We back out of our spots, and the "EXIT" path rolls right through the larger group of brawlers. So we sit...waiting to be able to pass. We sat for 4 or 5 minutes. As we did, we had streams of people rushing by our van, some hitting it, to get to the brawl - to participate or defend their "buds." I see an officer to the right cuff a guy, and put him on the ground, billy club in hand. When that guy's "compadres" saw this, 20 of them (no ****) go sprinting at this cop screaming and yelling **** like "what the **** are you doing? Let him go!!" One cop, 20 people streaming at him, billy club in hand. First hand, I see the threat this guy had to deal with. He wasn't equipped to defend himself. Thank God he drew no weapon. To our left, there are 2 more people being cuffed, one already sitting on his ***, hands cuffed behind his back. There's probably 75 people or more now involved in this melee.
Soon after, the cars in front of us release, and we too leave. As we are leaving, several cop cars are screaming into the parking garage.
None of this was eye opening for me - I've been around people of all races throughout much of my life. But it hit me this time. We are at Universal, at Disney, and I just witnessed a brawl, arrests, and potential serious violence. At Walt ******* Disney world...and they couldn't control themselves? Have a good time? There wasn't a white face in that crowd, nor a hispanic face. The ease with which these people let themselves become prone to violence was evident, as if they were waiting for it, missed it, longed for it. It was just strange how it unfolded.
The next day, we are back at our hotel. We had brought a basketball, and had 15 kids on the court. My oldest was with us on the trip as well. My sons, white, were the two best players on the court. They play a lot of basketball. Most of the kids are good though as well. But again, I saw somethings that just made me think "this is IN them" almost like they can't help it. We're playing ball, and these sweet kids (literally, great kids) when frustrated, when they got their ankles broken, when they got bumped - they mentally and emotionally crossed a line. I'm the ref, and quickly had to separate a black kid who shoved another white kid. "WTH are you two doing? We're teammates." On one play, two black kids on our team are going after a ball going out of bounds. The kid closest to the ball, as he's going out of bounds, leaps, gets the ball and attempts to throw the ball back in bounds. The ball hits the other kid in the head. It hurt, I could see it. But he couldn't rationalize that it was just a sports play. He was angry. He wanted to hurt the other kid. THREE full minutes later, that other kid got the ball, and the one that got hurt just shoved him as hard as he could and I watched the kid go tumbling on the asphalt. Then my son, schooled a kid, made a move, blew buy him for a layup. It was wide open, but the black kid (let me repeat, this sweet kid...amazing kid, who'd helped my son with math, who's so freaking polite it's scary...just flat out shoves my son in the back as he's going for the layup and my son goes head over heels on the asphalt. Another WTF moment. Basektball was over for the night.
Final night there, friday, we the coaches were talking inside the one guy's villa, about departure details. Pounding and screaming at the door. I go running out. You guessed it. Black kid on our team gets into fight with hispanic kid, body slams him.
This is just stream of thought, but what really set in for me, on this particular trip was how deep and pervasive violence is to so many of these black kids. It's almost so deep, it's like instinct. It happens before they think. It's scary. I'm so sad for my kids that they had to see this, but also so glad they did. There are so many vast differences in our cultures at times it's mind boggling.
I saw some things first hand that just made me pause, that I thought I'd share.
First, let me preface this with some background. Our team (10, 11, 12 yr olds on our team) and league caters to some VERY underprivileged kids. I mean, kids who's moms just got out of prison, kids who are being shipped off to Canada to be put into foster care because mom/dad don't give a **** about them, kids that are shared among aunts and uncles day after day because no one cares about them. And yes, the team is mostly black, with 4 or 5 white kids, and a couple hispanics. I've been coaching with this group of kids last fall, this spring, and this fall (I was with other leagues prior). The current group has been playing football this year from April to December, with only a 3 week break in June. I know them all well.
Some of the aforementioned kids have spent weekends in my home, sleeping in our beds, playing with my kids. And I'm astonished they are treated how they are, as they are special, loving, great kids that just need a little guiding light. My wife and I have discussed adopting one. Of the kids on our team, some had never been out of Maryland, let alone to Florida, or hell - to Disney. It was a trip of a lifetime for them, even if we were holed up in some bad $60/night motels. For them? It was like we were staying in the Ritz. Anyway...
Each year, one night, the AYF gets Universal or Adventure Island reserved for only AYF coaches, players, and families. It's pretty cool having the park closed to everyone but us. And for the kids - OMG so awesome for them. Thursday was that night. We rode the Hulk, went to Harry Potter World, rode the rides, bought the kids souvenirs, food, and just had a good time. The smiles were contagious. It FELT rewarding, like "I'm doing something that makes a difference here."
Then it's time to leave. Everyone is rolling out at about 11PM to 11:15PM. If you've been to Universal, you know you have to go through Universal Walk then cross the bridge to get the parking garages. As we get to the other side of the bridge to the entrance to the parking garages (remember our whole team of kids, coaches and chaperones is together), things are getting loud...an argument...I look to the right and there's a black guy with his finger in the face of a security person, screaming something or other about what he hadn't done, etc. They are chest to chest. A friend of his is trying to pull him away. Then I start to see the big picture. Two other black kids (16, 17, 18?) are being held back by another security person. "They are about to fight or just did" I'm thinking. The police work to separate the groups and send them on their separate ways. Despite security being there, these punks won't quit. They have to be pushed, shoved and pulled away, fingers pointing, shouting, threatening. As this is winding down (or so we thought), we talk with our team about departure, who's on what van, and the next day plan. We disperse and break up our group to go to the separate vehicles.
My group, a small one, apparently ended up following these two groups that had been previously separated. The parking garage is vastly empty. 60 yards ahead, I see the two in red sprinting across the garage, going after another black guy (maybe the first guy I saw with security? not sure). To my right, security has run up again to another black guy who's saying something about "I ain't got no mace man...I didn't spray mace on those kids!" I'm like "WTF?" In seconds, crowds start swarming towards the two kids wearing red, sprinting across the garage to join in the about-to-occur melee. Security is sprinting in from every angle, now including police on bicycles. Soon, two large groups form, one of about 45 people, another of about 25 - one to my left, one to my right. Like a fire spreads quickly, this escalated so fast it was scary...people were RUSHING to be a part of this drama and potential violence. There's now probably 25 security personnel and police too.
We get into our van (mine a mini-van), and start to back out. I have another team mom and her son following us in a car. We back out of our spots, and the "EXIT" path rolls right through the larger group of brawlers. So we sit...waiting to be able to pass. We sat for 4 or 5 minutes. As we did, we had streams of people rushing by our van, some hitting it, to get to the brawl - to participate or defend their "buds." I see an officer to the right cuff a guy, and put him on the ground, billy club in hand. When that guy's "compadres" saw this, 20 of them (no ****) go sprinting at this cop screaming and yelling **** like "what the **** are you doing? Let him go!!" One cop, 20 people streaming at him, billy club in hand. First hand, I see the threat this guy had to deal with. He wasn't equipped to defend himself. Thank God he drew no weapon. To our left, there are 2 more people being cuffed, one already sitting on his ***, hands cuffed behind his back. There's probably 75 people or more now involved in this melee.
Soon after, the cars in front of us release, and we too leave. As we are leaving, several cop cars are screaming into the parking garage.
None of this was eye opening for me - I've been around people of all races throughout much of my life. But it hit me this time. We are at Universal, at Disney, and I just witnessed a brawl, arrests, and potential serious violence. At Walt ******* Disney world...and they couldn't control themselves? Have a good time? There wasn't a white face in that crowd, nor a hispanic face. The ease with which these people let themselves become prone to violence was evident, as if they were waiting for it, missed it, longed for it. It was just strange how it unfolded.
The next day, we are back at our hotel. We had brought a basketball, and had 15 kids on the court. My oldest was with us on the trip as well. My sons, white, were the two best players on the court. They play a lot of basketball. Most of the kids are good though as well. But again, I saw somethings that just made me think "this is IN them" almost like they can't help it. We're playing ball, and these sweet kids (literally, great kids) when frustrated, when they got their ankles broken, when they got bumped - they mentally and emotionally crossed a line. I'm the ref, and quickly had to separate a black kid who shoved another white kid. "WTH are you two doing? We're teammates." On one play, two black kids on our team are going after a ball going out of bounds. The kid closest to the ball, as he's going out of bounds, leaps, gets the ball and attempts to throw the ball back in bounds. The ball hits the other kid in the head. It hurt, I could see it. But he couldn't rationalize that it was just a sports play. He was angry. He wanted to hurt the other kid. THREE full minutes later, that other kid got the ball, and the one that got hurt just shoved him as hard as he could and I watched the kid go tumbling on the asphalt. Then my son, schooled a kid, made a move, blew buy him for a layup. It was wide open, but the black kid (let me repeat, this sweet kid...amazing kid, who'd helped my son with math, who's so freaking polite it's scary...just flat out shoves my son in the back as he's going for the layup and my son goes head over heels on the asphalt. Another WTF moment. Basektball was over for the night.
Final night there, friday, we the coaches were talking inside the one guy's villa, about departure details. Pounding and screaming at the door. I go running out. You guessed it. Black kid on our team gets into fight with hispanic kid, body slams him.
This is just stream of thought, but what really set in for me, on this particular trip was how deep and pervasive violence is to so many of these black kids. It's almost so deep, it's like instinct. It happens before they think. It's scary. I'm so sad for my kids that they had to see this, but also so glad they did. There are so many vast differences in our cultures at times it's mind boggling.
