Obama - "today I regretfully retract my plan to tax people that have done something responsible. You see these people have something and therefore they should be taxed. If they have nothing they should get something, it is the American way. Hundreds of years ago millions of poor people came to the shores of America looking for a handout. In their native countries they were expected to work hard if they wanted something, here we just give them free ****. You want a new iPhone 6? Dammit you should have one, THIS IS AMERICA. I spent years toiling away in hard jobs learning the value of a hard days work...wink wink. My parents instilled in me from birth the American way, from Indonesia. I learned all about Karl Marx and how he believed the harder you worked the harder you should be taxed. It's for the children dammit! My mom didn't get proper medical care! You didn't build that, the government developed the first iPhone, I have proof somewhere. My kids are learning that it isn't who you know, it's more about where you go to file for free government handouts....oh wait they go to an elite private school that costs more than most of the people who voted for me make in a year- let's forget about that. My kids saw a homeless guy in front of the White House last week and asked their security detail why doesn't he get a job? Lol nah they said why doesn't our government give him new shoes? Everyone deserves some sweet new kicks. This is America! We have far too many rich people and yet we have people driving cars from the 1990s. How can you expect to get ahead in modern times with a car that may not get u to work? Today I pull my plan to tax the parents who gave up that week long vacation in Jamaica so that their kids can attend a state sponsored institution of the curriculum of my choice. Tomorrow I will introduce the free cars for fast food workers program. Do you work hard? Between 5 and 25 hours a week punching buttons on a microwave? Free Ford for you. Did you miss school to chill with the choom gang and therefore u didn't get the same opportunity as those "other" kids? Free Chevy Volt for You! Do you feel me now America? Where are my Newports? I'm just getting started."
