Transgender question......

[Supersteeler]

I don't think letting them wear what they want and call themselves what they want is akin to giving them a scalpel.

There've been 3 suicides at my daughters' two colleges in the last 2 weeks. Kids today are under so much pressure. I realized several years ago that the biggest parenting mistake I was making was trying to create the perfect family with the perfect kids and make sure everything always went according to my plan. I did not even realize the pressure I was putting on my kids.

What kids need more than anything from their parents is unconditional acceptance and love. They need to know their home is the place where they can be who they are and feel loved and accepted. If anyone thinks they are going to stave off transgenderism in their kid by forbidding it, I think there is a fairly large body of evidence that it won't work and will only harm the child by teaching them that who they are inside is bad and wrong. Confidence in their true identity comes from that security that is developed at home.

Again, I realize my parenting philosophy differs a lot from many here. That's ok. I haven't had to deal with this particular issue but I have had to deal with a few other issues and I can only imagine this would be gut wrenching. Seeing your child suffer is the worst feeling there is and most of us will do what we can to make things better. Unless there's some reason to think these parents have some kind of twisted motives I would support them in doing what they feel is best for their child and their family.

This is not meant as an insult to you or any of your friends' parenting, but I think modern parenting styles are creating mentally weak kids who are completely unable to handle everyday pressures of life. I think this is what is causing the huge uptick in depressions/suicides. Kids used to be able to adapt to difficulties and problem solve them. Now they feel helpless because they haven't been taught any coping skills at home, which leads to a lot of depression. We tell our kids growing up that they are perfect, they are the best, they can never be wrong. Then when they start facing adversity and have to face the concept that they might not be the greatest, smartest and most special kid on the planet, they are not equipped to process it. Plus we want to solve all of their problems and fight all of their battles for them. I feel it's making them emotional cripples. That's just my 2 cents anyway.

Yes I try to make my own kids feel special and I try to make them feel confident about things. What I refuse to do is blow smoke up their ***** and lead them to believe they are somehow superior to everyone else and that they are the greatest at everything they do, which is an obvious fact to them that they aren't. I think kids deep down, appreciate honesty and reality when it's presented to them, rather than being coddled and built up to be something they are not. That creates a lot of pressure and unattainable standards when reality comes crashing down.

 

[oneforthebus]

What I refuse to do is blow smoke up their ***** and lead them to believe they are somehow superior to everyone else and that they are the greatest at everything they do, which is an obvious fact to them that they aren't. I think kids deep down, appreciate honesty and reality when it's presented to them, rather than being coddled and built up to be something they are not. That creates a lot of pressure and unattainable standards when reality comes crashing down.

Well if that's what you got from my post about my parenting I obviously didn't explain myself very well. I'm not talking about blowing smoke up anyone's *** and telling them they're perfect.I'm talking about loving and accepting your child despite the fact that they are not perfect, not superior to anyone, not the best at everything, and maybe even not turning out exactly the way you envisioned them to. I'm talking about not demanding that they conform to your vision in order to be loved and accepted.

 

[CharlesDavenport]

Well if that's what you got from my post about my parenting I obviously didn't explain myself very well. I'm not talking about blowing smoke up anyone's *** and telling them they're perfect.I'm talking about loving and accepting your child despite the fact that they are not perfect, not superior to anyone, not the best at everything, and maybe even not turning out exactly the way you envisioned them to. I'm talking about not demanding that they conform to your vision in order to be loved and accepted.

So you don't smack 'em if they act like a nancy-boy?

 

[oneforthebus]

So you don't smack 'em if they act like a nancy-boy?

Yes, once my kid wanted to wear a pink shirt so I kicked the **** out of him. Beat the ghey right out of him.

 

[Supersteeler]

Well if that's what you got from my post about my parenting I obviously didn't explain myself very well. I'm not talking about blowing smoke up anyone's *** and telling them they're perfect.I'm talking about loving and accepting your child despite the fact that they are not perfect, not superior to anyone, not the best at everything, and maybe even not turning out exactly the way you envisioned them to. I'm talking about not demanding that they conform to your vision in order to be loved and accepted.

My mistake, I fully agree with you that you should love and support your kids in whatever they want to do.

However I do think these skyrocketing rates of depression are two fold. There are so many absentee parents who do not have time to pay attention to their kids now. There are a lot around here that are hooked on drugs and leave their kids to fend for themselves. The other end of the spectrum are the parents who are overly involved and are hellbent on making sure their kids never have to face any real world consequences or *gasp* fail at anything....ever. Both are terrible for a kid's mental well being.

 

[MTC]

This is not meant as an insult to you or any of your friends' parenting, but I think modern parenting styles are creating mentally weak kids who are completely unable to handle everyday pressures of life. I think this is what is causing the huge uptick in depressions/suicides. Kids used to be able to adapt to difficulties and problem solve them. Now they feel helpless because they haven't been taught any coping skills at home, which leads to a lot of depression. We tell our kids growing up that they are perfect, they are the best, they can never be wrong. Then when they start facing adversity and have to face the concept that they might not be the greatest, smartest and most special kid on the planet, they are not equipped to process it. Plus we want to solve all of their problems and fight all of their battles for them. I feel it's making them emotional cripples. That's just my 2 cents anyway.

Yes I try to make my own kids feel special and I try to make them feel confident about things. What I refuse to do is blow smoke up their ***** and lead them to believe they are somehow superior to everyone else and that they are the greatest at everything they do, which is an obvious fact to them that they aren't. I think kids deep down, appreciate honesty and reality when it's presented to them, rather than being coddled and built up to be something they are not. That creates a lot of pressure and unattainable standards when reality comes crashing down.

Kids are pretty honest themselves. They like to straight up say something as is, my son is like that.
As for getting them to cope with constructive critism, facing adversity etc.

Learning those values through sports has always been the go to.
I agree in don't blow smoke up their ***, but I'm also one to tell my son sometimes life just doesn't go our way.

Hurts cause as a parent, you want to give them everything. But you also have to look at it as them learning that if they want something or whatever they have to work at it.


It's a fragile issue cause we all have our way of parenting.

 

[Yinzerlyn]

I love my child for everything she is...in spite of the fact that she hates me. I never expected her to be perfect....BUT....I also knew when to tell her that even though whatever it was she wanted to do was what SHE wanted, it wasn't the best thing for her and I wouldn't let her as long as she lived under my roof.

 

[Spike]

I’ve never been to Spain




First transgender Miss Universe contestant

“I always say: having a vagina didn't transform me into a woman. I am a woman, already before birth, because my identity is here [her head.]”

https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/7...n-first-transgender-miss-universe-contestant/

 

[suncitysteel]

I’ll piggyback on some of what’s already been said…

Let’s see: Typically, a 5 year old learned to walk and to use the potty by him/herself just 3 years prior, learned to talk in a way to be understood 2 years ago. He/she has just begun to form societal behaviors and is just learning coping skills. Five year olds would love to run down that steep hill, play with that barking Rotweiller, chase a ball down the street, but we as parents step in and tell them we’re not going to let them do what they want. We as parents bear the responsibility of setting parameters. Also consider that a 5 year old has a developing imagination (“I wanna be dinosaur!” I wanna be a superhero”) that can never be mistaken with reality. Just because someone that young says they want to be something else, we as parents don’t all of a sudden give in. Let children be children, but parents need to parent. And that means the problems (e.g., bullying) that come with it. Isn’t that how children learn coping skills? Aren’t those problems precisely the perfect opportunity for a parent to teach valuable life lessons, as in, “life is hard, you’ll be dealing with bad/hard people all your life… this is how you deal with it.” “You’re going to fail in life. That’s normal, but without failure you’ll never reach success”. “I’m not a perfect parent so I don’t expect you to be a perfect child. But here’s what I do expect from you….” Parenting 101. Instead, this parent cedes her parental responsibility, accepts today’s “trends” and decides it’s the best course for her kid. Talk about child abuse.

I wouldn’t depend too heavily on modern psychology. We need to be careful in relying on postmodern psychoanalysts and their trade, which has taken it upon itself to redefine all kinds of morally-corrupt behaviors (pedophilia, homosexuality, gender-identity disorders, etc) and used Freud’s model of “the self” and the ability of each individual to find his own solution. Either that or it drowns them in psychotropic meds. There are other options (Christian/Biblical Counseling). In the end, we can only truly control what happens within the walls of our home. Teach them while they’re young, let them know they’re loved, show them how to love, but along with love apply equal amounts of discipline when needed. And don’t helicopter.

 

[Spike]

Quite an opportunity for a creative young fellow


Historic all-girls college is now accepting men if they identify as female

America's second oldest women-only college has announced it will begin accepting admission applications from transgender candidates, explaining that the school has “expanded its definition of womanhood.”

In a statement, Stephens College in Columbia, Missouri, announced that it will be admitting male students who identify as women — but will exclude trans men — beginning in the fall of 2019.

The college's new policy says, "The college’s undergraduate residential women’s program will continue to admit and enroll students who are women and who live as women, just as it always has. It will also admit and enroll students who were not born female, but who identify and live as women; those students will need to provide legal documentation that they are legally women or that they are transitioning to female.”

“Because the college has expanded its definition of womanhood to include both sex and gender, it is logically consistent that it also acknowledges both sex and gender in its definition of manhood. As a result, the college will stop admitting and enrolling students who were born female but who now identify as men or who are transitioning from female to male."

The decision to include transgender and non-binary students at Stephens College, a 185-year-old institution, was made unanimously by the Board of Trustees, according to an explainer released by the school.

https://www.christianpost.com/news/...accepting-men-if-they-identify-as-female.html

 

[Djfan]

It's all wrong. Boys are boys and girls are girls. Simple

 

[Spike]

Better not go to Thailand, you might get confused

Ladyboys

 

[Yinzerlyn]

Well, my friend made it "Facebook official" that she has 2 sons and one daughter. She posted a Happy Birthday wish to her 9 year old daughter....and said that she is so proud of her and that she is a wonderful sister to her 2 brothers.

I pray that everything turns out OK for her confused DAUGHTER.

 

[oneforthebus]

Well, my friend made it "Facebook official" that she has 2 sons and one daughter. She posted a Happy Birthday wish to her 9 year old daughter....and said that she is so proud of her and that she is a wonderful sister to her 2 brothers.

I pray that everything turns out OK for her confused DAUGHTER.

I thought she was 5?

 

[Sarge]

Better not go to Thailand, you might get confused

Ladyboys

We have a couple transgender folks running around down here, however I think they are from the Philippines. They are casually referred to as "the decepticons" in most circles.

 

[Yinzerlyn]

I thought she was 5?

There are 3 kids...the oldest daughter who is 9, and the five year old twins (boy and girl).