I'm just thick skinned I guess.  I do see a difference if someone takes offense vs doesn't take offense to a racial slur issued.  No offense, no harm, no foul.  Move on...
I also don't see how it can all be Tomlin's fault.  I just don't.  It's not always the parent's fault when a kid goes bad.  It's not the teacher's fault a kid won't learn.  It's up to the individual on how they want to live their life, and AB is living in his own world.
Plus all I hear from Gruden, is poor misunderstood AB.  If that ain't the most pussified approach to this child, I don't know what is.  At least with Tomlin, he's all about teaching responsibility for your actions, and being a man.  AB couldn't handle the man to man talk, or accept responsibility for his actions in any form of discipline.  
Diciplined by the Steelers - Walk out on the team.
Fined by the Raiders - Nearly blow up his contract
Un ******* real...