Interesting question and take and I respect your interest in my opinion.
Let me circle back, in case you missed it, I absolutely think DK deserves 'some punishment' for his actions - he is a player in the NFL and role model to some youngsters; but...
Society has taught, everyone after the Baby Boomer generation, that "losing is ok", "don't keep things inside - say what you want/ when you want or you will turn into an angry person"...blah, blah, blah, blah. At what point do we teach ourselves - "enough is enough"??? Stand up for yourself.
Everyone walks on eggshells because they don't want to be canceled - supporting each and every cause that is the new thing but everyone is human. We're all sinners and no one is perfect. Yes, DK made a mistake. The ignorant fan made (multiple) mistakes. The NFL and Lions organizations made the mistake of allowing the fan in the stadium.
Did he use inflammatory/derogatory language to incite a reaction from DK??? Only God and both men know; but ask yourself - the claim of simply calling DK by his government name, when he publishes it on his social media account for the world to see - well, good sir, "something in that milk ain't clean".
Let's close with this - the fan obviously had other actors in his plan and an ambulance chasing attorney on speed dial. Was this all a planned attack to get a reaction for a pay day??? Yes it was.