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No one can speak to the particular quality of your friends who were former military personnel work as police. However, as a whole the transition of ex military into police services is I believe part of the problem. Obviously, the military does other functions besides warfare. However, their primary and basic training is to survive in combat and part of that is killing the enemy. A police officer's job is to deescalate situations before they come to the point where killing becomes a necessity so that both them and the citizens they serve get to go home at night.
In 12.5 million arrests and millions of other contacts with police every year, very, very few people end up hurt or dead, despite many of them being armed, mentally ill, on drugs, or even suicidal in some cases. It's actually quite remarkable when you think about it. The idea that police in general are way out of control is overblown and very deliberately so by various interests.
1000 women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends every year. Are husbands and boyfriends way out of control? Where's the outrage?
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