So Steeltime is working on authoring a few jokes about Congress' second-stupidest person, AOC. (The first is that disgusting, vulgar, corrupt, lying anti-Semite, Rep. Ilhan Omar.) Here goes:
AOC and a goat walk into a bar. Bartender says, "Thank God you're here. We have had a rush of business and need somebody who knows the difference between a beer and a Manhattan. Also, we need somebody who can count to ten and handle the cash register. AOC, show the goat where the cash register is, and call the temp agency for a temporary bartender."
AOC goes on a cruise, and is told that the ship will be at sea for five weeks, but will stop at various ports along the way. AOC responds, "Can I leave the cruise and just take the train the rest of the way?"
AOC is standing in line at the movies when she asks her cohort, "Do they serve Goobers here?" Friend responds, "I'm sure they will sell you a ticket." Confused, AOC then follows up, "What do you think about Whoppers?" Friend answers, "Yeah, I get used to them being around you." Still unclear on what is happening - because she is stupid - AOC finishes, "For crying out loud, what about Squirrel Nut Zippers?" Friend says, "You probably want to talk to Kamala about that."
AOC is at a funeral, and giving the eulogy. She repeats her earlier idiocy that the cost of the funeral would be covered by her proposed health care plan. However, one of the family members points out that dying is not the goal of medical care. Hyphen-the-genius retorts, "All we need to do is reduce the $700 billion increase in military spending, which they didn't even ask for, and we have plenty of money to bury people." Confused, the family member points out that the claimed "$700 billion increase" in the military budget is just not true, that the increase was $61 billion, and that the amount budgeted for the military in 2019 was exactly what they asked for. Not to be deterred, AOC responds, "Well, if we simply renege on all tax incentives for businesses, that money would be enough for Israel to stop occupying Palestine." Now the family member is deeply troubled by AOC's utter stupidity, and the fact that somehow she has one of just 435 votes in the House that determines Federal spending, totaling trillions of dollars per year, and points out to Always Oralizing Crap that eliminating tax incentives does not actually raise money, and that instead the businesses use the tax incentives to pay employees - who pay income taxes - and to increase business revenues - resulting in increased tax revenues paid by the business. AOC is now in waaaay over her head, since she understood that no math would be involved, and thereby plays her trump card: "The $21 trillion in 'Pentagon accounting errors' is more than enough to pay for college for all, and free medical care, and funerals, and ice cream for the sad." The grieving family member points out that $21 trillion is more than has been spent on defense over the past 40 years, and thereby could not possibly be deemed "Pentagon accounting errors," since, well, we did actually fight in a few wars over the years. AOC begins to panic, and points out that unemployment is low only because people have two jobs and that median income is increasing under Trump, something it did not do under Bammy, only because people have to work three jobs to earn that much.
Okay, I admit the last one is not a joke - but every idiotic statement attributed to Always Oralizing Crap (with some minor comedic additions) was one actually made by the ******* idiot.