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I do not see a separate thread regarding the pending New York criminal case against Donald J. Trump so I thought I would update the status of that litigation. First, we need to understand the current charges against Mr. Trump. Usually understanding a criminal charge is very easy - assault, battery, larceny, rape, robbery, murder ... we all know what those entail.
Not so the charges against Mr. Trump. The case was brought by a morbidly obese Alvin Bragg, hereafter referred to as "Fat Alvin." The charge is that Donald J. Trump misclassified a payment made by Michael Cohen to a hooker/adult film star named Stephanie Clifford, ***** name Stormy Daniels, as a legal expense rather than ... something else. Wait, you say, that purported bookkeeping error is a misdemeanor with a statute of limitations of three years and the payment occurred in 2016? Well, actually 2017 since that is when Trump paid Cohen $180,000 (Cohen routinely overcharged massively for any work done, this included)? You are correct.
But here is where the explaining begins. Under New York Penal Code § 170.10: Falsifying Business Records in the First Degree, a defendant is guilty of a felony for falsifying a business record where with the intent to defraud, the defendant makes or causes a false entry in the business records of an enterprise, or alters, destroys, conceals, or removes any such record. The statute is designed to prevent fraudulent activities that could harm the public. The New York DA's office gives examples of conduct that may be covered under the statute as including falsifying financial statements, tampering with accounting records, or concealing information to misrepresent the true financial or operational condition of a business.
So the accounting error is not the crime being prosecuted - the crime is the alleged use of the accounting error to cover up another crime, which is a felony. Here's where it gets amazing - Bragg's office argued to the judge last week that they do not need to prove an underlying crime actually occurred, only that the defendant believed ... something or other. Why would Bragg take this position? Well, other than to continue a bogus criminal prosecution of a political enemy in the hopes he gets invited to the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest in 2024, I mean.
He argues that position because the other alleged nefarious activities raised during the trial - paying Stephanie Clifford $130,000, getting a non-disclosure agreement (NDA), reimbursing Cohen in 2017 - are not crimes. Those activities were raised over the defense objection that they are irrelevant, because they are. Bragg seems to suggest that the payment and the NDA were illegal because they were done to interfere in the 2016 Presidential election ... the problem being that since Trump reimbursed Cohen the $130,000 in 2017, and that could not possibly have influenced the 2016 election, the prosecution has to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Trump knew of and consented to misclassifying the payment by Cohen as legal fees rather than payment to a lawyer. I mean, payment to a lawyer as reimbursement, like costs, which lawyers never charge to clients.
Okay, lawyers charge clients for costs in basically every case, so I mean misclassified the payment to a lawyer as legal fees or costs when in fact they werecosts hush money, known in the legal community as an NDA, payments which are made tens of thousands of times per year and which are legal ... goddammit, stop confusing the issue! The guy paid a ***** for an NDA, which is legal! Dammit, I mean it's legal but he was running for President!
So the prosecution relied on the testimony of Michael Cohen to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that President Trump knew Cohen was making the payment in 2016 and acquiring an NDA and approved of registering that payment by Cohen on Cohen's billing to Trump as a payment for legal services, like costs, when in fact it was a payment for costs incurred by an attorney. DAMMIT, stop it! He reimbursed a guy who made a legal payment and obtained a legal NDA! I mean, he repaid a guy who paid a ***** and where the guy registered the payment as legal costs when in fact it was a legal cost, uhhh, something else and that entry by the lawyer on his bill to President Trump covered up some other crime but we don't have to tell you quislings what the other crime was! So shut up!
And as to the credibility of Cohen's claim that he spoke to Trump about the payment and the two discussed what was paid, why, and how it would be recorded by Cohen in his bill to Trump, well that hit a small pothole. Cohen testified that he actually called Trump's bodyguard, identified the date of the call as October of 2016, but the text messages sent before and immediately after the phone call showed that Cohen spoke to the bodyguard about ... being harassed by a 14-year old boy. No, I am not kidding. Cohen then admitted to discussing the 14-year old harassing him with the bodyguard but said he "might well have" also discussed the entire issue regarding the payment to Stephanie Clifford and the NDA and the accounting entry, all in a phone call that lasted 1:36. No, not an hour and 36 minutes - one minute and 36 seconds.
Oh, and Cohen admitted to stealing up to $70,000 from Trump and acknowledged he said he would do "anything" to get back at Trump and was caught perjuring himself when denying he met with Fat Alvin and admitted he received an immunity agreement as part of his testimony. But other than that, he was a really credible witness.
So that's the criminal case against Trump in New York. And no, nothing I rendered above is made up or overstated for humorous purposes except where obviously made up. Wait, I have literally not made up a single fact about this prosecution. And we still await Fat Alvin's announcement as to the underlying crime the legal fee reimbursement covered up ... I'll let you know if we hear of anything.
Not so the charges against Mr. Trump. The case was brought by a morbidly obese Alvin Bragg, hereafter referred to as "Fat Alvin." The charge is that Donald J. Trump misclassified a payment made by Michael Cohen to a hooker/adult film star named Stephanie Clifford, ***** name Stormy Daniels, as a legal expense rather than ... something else. Wait, you say, that purported bookkeeping error is a misdemeanor with a statute of limitations of three years and the payment occurred in 2016? Well, actually 2017 since that is when Trump paid Cohen $180,000 (Cohen routinely overcharged massively for any work done, this included)? You are correct.
But here is where the explaining begins. Under New York Penal Code § 170.10: Falsifying Business Records in the First Degree, a defendant is guilty of a felony for falsifying a business record where with the intent to defraud, the defendant makes or causes a false entry in the business records of an enterprise, or alters, destroys, conceals, or removes any such record. The statute is designed to prevent fraudulent activities that could harm the public. The New York DA's office gives examples of conduct that may be covered under the statute as including falsifying financial statements, tampering with accounting records, or concealing information to misrepresent the true financial or operational condition of a business.
So the accounting error is not the crime being prosecuted - the crime is the alleged use of the accounting error to cover up another crime, which is a felony. Here's where it gets amazing - Bragg's office argued to the judge last week that they do not need to prove an underlying crime actually occurred, only that the defendant believed ... something or other. Why would Bragg take this position? Well, other than to continue a bogus criminal prosecution of a political enemy in the hopes he gets invited to the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest in 2024, I mean.
He argues that position because the other alleged nefarious activities raised during the trial - paying Stephanie Clifford $130,000, getting a non-disclosure agreement (NDA), reimbursing Cohen in 2017 - are not crimes. Those activities were raised over the defense objection that they are irrelevant, because they are. Bragg seems to suggest that the payment and the NDA were illegal because they were done to interfere in the 2016 Presidential election ... the problem being that since Trump reimbursed Cohen the $130,000 in 2017, and that could not possibly have influenced the 2016 election, the prosecution has to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Trump knew of and consented to misclassifying the payment by Cohen as legal fees rather than payment to a lawyer. I mean, payment to a lawyer as reimbursement, like costs, which lawyers never charge to clients.
Okay, lawyers charge clients for costs in basically every case, so I mean misclassified the payment to a lawyer as legal fees or costs when in fact they were
So the prosecution relied on the testimony of Michael Cohen to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that President Trump knew Cohen was making the payment in 2016 and acquiring an NDA and approved of registering that payment by Cohen on Cohen's billing to Trump as a payment for legal services, like costs, when in fact it was a payment for costs incurred by an attorney. DAMMIT, stop it! He reimbursed a guy who made a legal payment and obtained a legal NDA! I mean, he repaid a guy who paid a ***** and where the guy registered the payment as legal costs when in fact it was a legal cost, uhhh, something else and that entry by the lawyer on his bill to President Trump covered up some other crime but we don't have to tell you quislings what the other crime was! So shut up!
And as to the credibility of Cohen's claim that he spoke to Trump about the payment and the two discussed what was paid, why, and how it would be recorded by Cohen in his bill to Trump, well that hit a small pothole. Cohen testified that he actually called Trump's bodyguard, identified the date of the call as October of 2016, but the text messages sent before and immediately after the phone call showed that Cohen spoke to the bodyguard about ... being harassed by a 14-year old boy. No, I am not kidding. Cohen then admitted to discussing the 14-year old harassing him with the bodyguard but said he "might well have" also discussed the entire issue regarding the payment to Stephanie Clifford and the NDA and the accounting entry, all in a phone call that lasted 1:36. No, not an hour and 36 minutes - one minute and 36 seconds.
Oh, and Cohen admitted to stealing up to $70,000 from Trump and acknowledged he said he would do "anything" to get back at Trump and was caught perjuring himself when denying he met with Fat Alvin and admitted he received an immunity agreement as part of his testimony. But other than that, he was a really credible witness.
So that's the criminal case against Trump in New York. And no, nothing I rendered above is made up or overstated for humorous purposes except where obviously made up. Wait, I have literally not made up a single fact about this prosecution. And we still await Fat Alvin's announcement as to the underlying crime the legal fee reimbursement covered up ... I'll let you know if we hear of anything.
