So I've tried not to weigh in directly on Butker's comments. Those that know me know how I feel (hint: I loved his speech and found the outrage to it to be ridiculous
).
That said, my own perspective.
I was always envious of my wife. I felt like I, the man, got the raw deal. Flame on me if you like.
I got great grades. I graduated with honors. I began making money at 24 years old no 24 year old should make. And I never really loved my job. Have been damned good at it. But never (until 3 years ago) jumped out of bed to go to work because I was in love with my profession. Work was a means to an end - pay the bills, provide the life needed for my family.
When I got married, and I had to go on a business trip, I'd be 'ok' with it (not happy, never enjoyed business travel). But I did it because I was laying the foundation for a future for our family we were about to build.
Then I had kids. Having kids rocked my world. Changed me in ways I never expected. I used to think before kids "I won't ever be able to watch them play soccer or little league or high school sports with the same passion I do the Steelers." God was I wrong. My kids became my day to day passion. Their little games and concerts and events and moments meant more to me than anything in the entire world.
And then I'd have to go to a conference on the other side of the country and be gone for 4 nights and I'd want to scream at the moon. I felt like God was robbing me of 4 days and nights with my kids, days and hours I would never (and did not) get back. And I was jealous of my wife, being able to stay at home. She would say (as I would pack and be sour) to look forward to my trip and I would say "I'm missing X, Y, and Z moments with my boys I'll never, ever get back."
I never resented her for being able to take off 10 years to be a SAHM. But I was jealous AF. She would always console me like "the trip should be fun, enjoy it." I would always reply "I don't care what we do, how great it is, it's not being here with the boys and you."
Being in the air, on thousands of flights, has always felt like being in jail to me. Trapped, in a prison, kept from where you wanted to be.
Then, in the early 2000s, I was laid off with a nice severance in April. I said to her, I'm not going back to work until January of the next year. Staying at home and doing the Dad thing.
I took 8-9 months off, stayed at home, spent time with my kids. It was AMAZING. Truly, some of the best months of my life. Took them to school, picked them up, went to PTA meetings. I realized, I'd have loved nothing at all in the world more than to be Mr. Dad. That would have been my dream.
Sadly I had to go back to work. Flight delays and business and travel robbed me of so many things. I missed my 2nd son's first steps due to "work."
Both men and women sacrifice. I'm a man who's jealous of the SAHM. If I could dial it all up again, I'd find a woman who was talented and career minded so I could stay at home with my kids and soak up every damned moment, good or bad. And I'd applaud Harrison for his comments.
Career minded men who also love their children as I do sacrifice a lot. It may not be their careers, or income. They give up more. Time with their families. That's worth more than anything.