I am going to tell you a story I have only told to one other person. That person is my wife. My mom doesn't know. My kids don't know. In the army, my career field was aviation. Be that as it is, I had never been in firefight. I was a mechanic with a weapon, pretty much. All that changed on June 1st of 2012. I was deployed to Afghanistan, at FOB Salerno in RC East. It was a Friday, a typical slow day, being that Friday's are Muslim holy days. Usually there isn't much action. I wasn't scheduled to fly that day so, I slept a little late, went to the gym and reported for duty.
It was me, and three of my Soldiers assigned for maintenance. All of the rest of my guys were either out flying, or in bed because they had missions that night. Somewhere between 1130 and noon, we went to the chow hall to grab a bite. We ate our lunch and left, swung by the little PX next door for a can of chew, and headed back. About 100 meters from the PX, the chaplain had a table set up with personal hygiene items he was giving to Soldiers who needed them.
About that time, a huge explosion hit the hesco barrier. I later found out it was a truck with roughly 10,000kg of explosives on board. The bad guys had breached the base. The explosion was so powerful, it knocked us down. The chow hall was destroyed along with the PX. We started hearing gunfire. All the guys in my company carry 9mm Berettas, and when we go outside the wire, each crew member also takes an assigned M4.
I sent the guys to the CP to get M4's, body armor, helmets. I ran into the PX to make sure anyone in there was ok and not in need of medical attention. They were ok. After that, I ran toward the fight.
I took up a defensive position behind a cement barrier with a clear view of the breach. I was quickly joined by guys from Army infantry, Seals, SF. First bad guy poked his head out, was killed. Another one got to cover and fought back with machine gun and RPG's. Long story short, we were engaged with 5-7 bad guys, and all I had was a 9 mil and 31 rounds. I fired my pistol. Probably didn't hit ****. Don't know if I did or didn't. Whole fight lasted 15 minutes, tops. All bad guys dead.
Why is this significant? Because at some point during the engagement I pissed myself. Didn't even know I did it until someone pointed it out. I got laughed at. I laughed. Then once the dust was settled, I began shaking uncontrollably. Shook for the better part of an hour. Maybe more. The whole thing ****** me up for a little bit.
I guess my point is, I thought I was pretty brave, and I guess I was. But there was a part of my brain that apparently was very afraid, but I never felt it. Knowing what I know, I believe I could do it again. But I don't know. Everytime something like Florida happens, it brings me back to that day and I wonder what I would do in such a situation. I would like to think I would run in again. But I just don't know.
